Thanks to decades of media interpreting our world, most of us have a preconceived idea of what an occupation is even if we’ve never met anyone in that occupation. That stereotype is mental shorthand – instead of learning what a “princess” is every time we hear the word, a certain mouse-eared corporation has given us an image of a princess always wearing a crown and a ballgown and being wooed by a charming prince.

But reality is very different from media stereotypes. Some princesses may indeed wear ballgowns, but some wear jeans and T-shirts and never rock a crown.

Mental health professionals portrayed by the media sometimes do justice to the actual profession, but more often they tend to be a simplistic sketch, a caricature, that doesn’t give a good idea of what therapy is really like. When considering therapy, it is important to know what it is and is not and what it can and can’t do for you. Going into it thinking it will be just like it is on your favorite sitcom can cause frustration for both you and the counselor and can hamper your desired outcome.

So, what is therapy?

According to the American Counseling Association “Professional counselors help people gain personal insights, develop strategies and come up with real-life solutions to the problems and challenges they face in every area of life. As trained and credentialed professionals, they accomplish this by getting to know clients, by building safe, positive relationships and suggesting tools and techniques they believe will benefit clients.”

Your therapist is not a fairy godmother with a wand who can fix everything and make it “all better.” Nor is your therapist there to commiserate with you on how “terrible” your ex was or how “right” you were. If you are expecting someone who will solve your problems for you or agree with everything you do, that won’t be a therapist.

A good therapist will teach you about decision making and boundaries, how to recognize what you are feeling and how to navigate complex situations. A therapist will never tell you what to do, but will help you learn how to find options. Going to therapy is much like hiring a guide while exploring a distant land – you want someone who will point out the sights, take you where you want to go, and point out the pitfalls and traps along the way. You wouldn’t hire a guide who only takes you to amusement parks if you’re wanting to visit museums. Like a good tourist guide, a good therapist won’t take over and plan the itinerary. They are there to help you get where you want to go.

If you have a complex mental health situation or require medications, your therapist may not be the only mental health professional you’ll need to see. You may need a psychiatrist for certain diagnostics and evaluations, and/or a medication management service to work with medications.

Dealing with mental health problems like stress or trauma is not easy. There are no quick fixes. Therapy is a process that can take weeks, months, or even years. And just because your best friend only needed a therapist for a few weeks after her divorce doesn’t mean you’ll only briefly need one too. Every person, every situation is different.

While the overall journey may seem daunting, it is absolutely worthwhile. It’s like planning a lengthy adventure abroad: learning the language, saving enough money for the trip and expenses, figuring out where you want to go and what you want to do, getting through all the red tape, and looking forward to all the lessons you’ll learn, the memories and experiences you will cherish, and the things you will have done there that you would never have done had you not gone, and the person you will be afterwards.

The best things in life take effort and personal investment. Therapy is no different. Invest in it, commit to it and work at it, and the person who emerges will be like a beautiful butterfly. Avoid it because it’s not a quick fix, and you’re stuck without wings, inching along wishing things were different.