You know you should be seeing a counselor to deal with your anxiety, but the kids need clothes, the car needs gas, the rent has to be paid, and grocery prices are making eating feel like a luxury. So you put off therapy and your anxiety keeps getting worse.

For those of us living paycheck-to-paycheck (57% of Americans according to Market Watch) setting money aside for counselling can feel impossible, especially when a therapy session can cost $125 or more. So how can you get the therapy you need when you can’t afford it?

Your first step needs to be committing to yourself and making your quality of life important. That’s not a blank check to sit about binge watching Netflix or to ignore your boss and do your own thing; it’s putting your mental and physical well-being at the top of your priority list. Just boxing up our emotions and parking them on a shelf doesn’t deal with them. They sit there and fester until you pick up the box, and now you have a major mess to deal with.

You’re probably thinking, “That’s a nice thought, but I have kids!” or “I need this job regardless of the abuse!” But how can you take care of your kids if you’re falling apart? Children are observant. They already know something is wrong, and most children assume that when something is wrong with a parent, it’s somehow their fault. How can you show up for work and do a good job if you’re so miserable you cry when you realize you have to get out of bed? It’s like lighting a candle that’s sitting in a hot saucepan on the stove – the candle will melt and vanish before it’s had a chance to light the room. Take the saucepan off the stove and give the candle a chance to shine.

Take a look at your insurance coverage. If you’re not sure what your specific plan covers, call the customer service number on your card and ask your provider directly. They can tell you whether or not counseling is covered, what types of counseling are covered, and whether you will have a copay or must meet a deductible, and may be able to direct you to local in-network options.

If you have Medicaid, Medicare, or a combination of the two, there are counseling offices that work with these. Because they are in such high demand, the waitlist can be months or even a year long. Since switching to another counselor may not be very easy in this circumstance, it’s very important to ask questions up front in order to find a counselor who is experienced with your specific issues and can help you reach the goals you set.

But what if you don’t have any coverage for counseling? Most all counseling offices offer a self-pay option, but as noted above it can be quite expensive. The American Counseling Association encourages counselors to provide reduced-fee or free (pro-bono) sessions for clients where possible, so you might come across sliding-scale services dependent upon your income level or pro-bono sessions with interns or counselors. These less expensive options aren’t advertised and may be difficult to find, so it’s important to ask.

Many churches offer free counseling services to their members. Such counseling can range from the church paying for a limited number of counseling sessions with a specific agency to fellow church members trained in counseling like Stephens Ministers. Such lay-counselors are not equipped to handle serious psychological conditions and are not used for long-term counseling or crisis situations. These services are best used for grief support, temporary family or marriage problems, and minor stress.

Your employer may offer an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) which may provide a limited number of counseling sessions for work-related stress. If you need counseling because of a situation at work, like abuse from customers or a violent incident, an EAP program may be able to provide some help. Your HR representative should be able to give you information on such programs and may be able to point out other resources as well.

Online therapy might be a good choice since it works via your computer, and you don’t have to leave home and find a sitter or use up fuel to do it. Many sites offer discounts for first-time customers. They also use a matching system, so you’re paired with a counselor specifically suited to your needs without needing to “test drive” a counselor in an office visit. Online therapy may also be helpful if you’re dealing with a specific problem and having difficulty finding providers in your area trained in that issue.

When speaking with office staff at clinics and agencies, always be honest about your symptoms and finances. Ask questions. And if you don’t find a choice right away, keep digging!

But what if none of these options are workable in your situation? There’s still hope!

Reducing your bills for basic necessities may allow you to pay for counseling – and relieve stress at the same time. Getting on SNAP and housing programs can reduce your food and housing bills. Here in Southeast Idaho, places like Eastern Idaho Community Action Partnership (EICAP) and the Salvation Army might be able to help with heating and electricity bills. Your local food bank, like the Community Food Basket in Idaho Falls, may be able to provide your family with a few meals to help with food expenses.

Calling the 211 Careline here in Idaho can open up quite a few resources to you and may provide more ideas for covering bills and providing counseling.

If you’re in a crisis situation, the Idaho Crisis and Suicide Hotline can be reached by calling or texting 988. You can also go to your nearest emergency room.

Just remember that no person succeeds at life on their own – we all need help at some point. Asking for help or admitting that things aren’t going well shouldn’t be met with shame or guilt, and those who heap shame or guilt have problems of their own. It’s okay to need help. All you have to do is ask.